I think that these fears are deeper than just desire, but they also speak to our fear of losing control. Despite evidence to the contrary, most people believe they have a great deal of control over the things that affect their lives, when this just simply is not so. While it is true that one should not simply sit idly by and let their lives be determined by the randomness of the world, we instead can nudge our lives to a better path through positive choices and being proactive.
However, even on a better path, most of the things in our world are beyond our control. The ball bounces funny and slips between your legs. It hails on the day of your immaculately planned outdoor spring wedding. Someone spoils the end of the movie before you have seen it. Your tire goes flat on the way to a job interview. Lovers will choose to leave you. People pass out of you life before you can tell them how much you love them and what they truly meant to you.
Despite the losses we will all have in our lives, they are no reason to fear loss. They are simply the way of the world, and the way for change. Often a bad thing for one person is a good thing for another. When relationships come to end, hopefully both people can take a bit of happiness from the time they shared and lessons on how to make their next relationship better. When we lose a loved one, we should remember they are moving on to a better place, as death is not an end, but rather a stop along the journey of our soul.
This brings me back to fear of our own death, and fear of our losses. We fear these things because we cannot control them. What dooms many a relationship is the fear of losing that other person, which provokes us to do things that drive that person away. Our fear of death prevents us from enjoying our lives, and fear of the deaths of loved ones prevents us from enjoying their lives. Whether one believes in Yahweh, Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, Brahma, or a pantheon of Pagan deities, the divine touches all of us, and the overall impact of that touch is good, even when we have loss.
Whenever we have lost something that loss will be for the greater good. It may not be something we see initially, but that is the way of the universe. I lost my twin sister at the age of 19, and it devastated me. However, the insights I have gained from that loss have been profound, and I believe that insight has allowed me to positively affect many people's lives. I will always honor her memory, but I no longer mourn her, as she has moved to a better place.
In the past, I have seen the end of a relationship with someone who is very special. The loss hurt me greatly, because of my desire for the relationship to last. However, now I see it not as a loss, but a time when I was able to make an amazing connection with another person. This connection helped me grow as a person, and the memory of the time will be treasured always. I believe these things are true for her as well, so despite the pain, our lives have been affected for the better.
We should not fear the losses in our lives, or the loss of our own life. It is all part of the cycle of death and rebirth. We are here for a short time before we move on to something else, so let us not waste our time here being ruled by fear and grief, but rather in celebration of the people we love and world that is full of wonder.
